Delilah Complex

April 4, 2004 | Link To Us | Index This sermon is for your spiritual edification and to spread a little hope and cheer. Read Judges 16:4-21 Judges 16:20-22 Then she screamed, "The Philistines are here to capture you, Samson!" And he woke up and thought, "I will do as before; I'll just shake myself free." But he didn't realize that the Lord had left him. 21 So the Philistines captured him and gouged out his eyes and took him to Gaza, where he was bound with bronze chains and made to grind grain in the prison. 22 But before long his hair began to grow again. TLB

What was Delilah thinking about when she decided to cut off Samson's hair? Was he being a real jerk? She kept asking him for the way in which he would lose his strength. She would try everything he told her only to find out he was messing with her mind. He told her to put his hair in the loom, but he yanked it back. She was tired of him mocking her and lying to her, but still he would tell her other ways that didn't work until finally he told her if she cut off his hair he would lose his strength. She did just that, he lost his strength, and the Philistines took him away, gouged out his eyes and threw him in prison.

Does this kind of behavior sound like a healthy relationship? I mean the guy fell in love with her and she tried all sorts of ways of mutilating him, until he finally told her the truth and his life was never the same after that. Of course his hair did eventually grow back and he did get this strength back. But still, how could she have done that to him?

Now there are probably some Delilah's out there waiting for some dumb schmuck to allow them to cut off his hair when he got to the point where he was being a real pain in the rear end. But seriously, a relationship should not be about trying to mess up peoples lives. You see it in the movies about how two woman call each other ten times a day to talk about this thing or that. Men often wonder what they talk about so much. It is enough sometimes for guys to get a little paranoid and wonder if his new girlfriend or wife has a Delilah Complex. She meets a guy, falls in love and when the relationship starts to get tough she feels like she wants to gouge his eyes out. Or maybe just a little slap on the face to wake him up to her reality.

Now ladies, I am not trying to pick on you. I know it seems like I am, but I am just trying to figure out why relationships do not last. Is it because the guy gets to be a real jerk and forgets to give you flowers on the three week anniversary of your first date together? So the guy realizes early in the relationship that he has to make up a calendar to remember all the really important dates in a relationship.

So what does this have to do with a lasting relationship with God. I mean this is a sermon right, you are probably asking yourself. I am just trying to understand the human condition. What makes a relationship work? A relationship with God works if you spend the time to understand what God wants for your life. A relationship with a significant other works and evolves into at least a recognizable facsimile of love if each person in the relationship takes the time to understand the other. And I don't mean a casual understanding, but one in which you get to know them on a complex level. When you start to understand their needs and are open for suggestions, that is when a relationship really starts to get better.

I think a relationship really works when you decide that being selfish is not going to get you anywhere in a relationship. You have to spend the time to get to know your significant other. Don't spend a minute a day, try an hour or more. Give of yourself and not just a few minutes a day squeezed between two other appointments in your day scheduler, but I mean some real time.

Think of it as a hunting expedition in the wilds of Africa or maybe a backpacking trip in New Zealand or some other exotic place. Think of it as a new experience because you are trying to understand him/her. You are trying to understand what makes them tick, what you may be doing that you don't even realize is ticking that person off. Because until you do you will be travelling into the ever-deepening abyss called disillusionment. You will start getting nowhere or you may even think that there is no purpose or reason you have for staying together. And that is a road that should not be travelled. It is a road with a lot of bumps and curves and you will encounter many bandits along the way trying to rob you of everything you have and not caring whether they leave you in a heap by the side of the road dead or alive.

And you are too good for that. I mean the reason you are reading a sermon on the Internet and the reason you made this effort is because you are trying to find some meaning to your life and you are making a conscious effort to try to understand why you are here on this planet. You know that God gives you purpose in life. You know He has all the answers to your dilemmas and you know that he will help you and give you peace. Not just peace of mind, but peace in your heart.

Life is too short to be spending a lot of time with frivolous pursuits.

Ladies, you are walking home from work and you may be thinking of that chocolate eclair in the candy store window. Then you pass the shoe store and you stare into the window at the pair of shoes you can't possibly afford but you just have to have. Then after you spend the money you don't have to also purchase the matching handbag, you feel like you just walked out of a palace and into some romantic story where knights in shining armor whisk you off your feet and onto a white stallion that gallops off to parts unknown that are mysterious that you have wanted to go to for a long time now.

Then you are startled by some jerk on the street who tweaks your rear end and all the thoughts of men having any decency at all just goes right out the window and you look at your purchases you made and wonder if you husband/boyfriend is going to hit the ceiling when he finds out how much you paid for all this. It is at this moment when you have to ask yourself, is this worth you husbands anger? Is it worth really pissing, sorry, upsetting him no end? Some of you may say yes and hopefully there are some of you say it is not worth it. OK, say you do, but then you go home without returning the items and you guessed it, he is fuming. Now it is at that moment you have to stop and ask yourself, was it really worth it? Could you have held back and said to yourself that your relationship with this man that you are love is worth it?

Now it really does seem like I am picking on you ladies. You may be thinking, "I would really like to give this sermon writer a piece of my mind, I mean the nerve of that man." But before you do, just ask yourself this question, "Do I really love him?" Not me ... your husband!

God wants you to be happy. He wants you to have a happy relationship with your significant other. God loves you and He wants what is best for you. Even when you have no idea what is best for you. And even when your husband is totally clueless to what you really want.

I know, we men can be totally clueless, but in our own special way we do, at least occasionally, remember the important things in life. We may need some reminders from time to time, but like all other human beings, we guys make mistakes along the way, so please cut us some slack. Even though we may not realize it when you feel it is important, we do want what is best for you.

Now I realize this is not the case, when the guy is cheating on his wife. These kinds of guys are the scourge of the universe, the lowest of low. They have decided to not try to salvage the relationship. These are the types of guys that do not want to try to learn about their wives. They have decided to take the easy way out and be the biggest jerks they can possibly be. Not because they want to be jerks but because they are being led by a force that compels them toward evil ways. A force that they give into without any rhyme or reason.

But a great relationship really starts when each participant really wants to know the other. But that can't stop after the first year. Some people say that a relationship loses it's fire after one year and people in a relationship start to slip into complacency. Not because they want to necessarily, but because it just sort of happens to them. These are the kinds of people that have not read the Bible enough. These are types that do not pray enough and ask God for help. Because if they did they would have a better relationship.

What it all boils down to is this. To have a healthy relationship of any kind you have to take the time with that other person and really get to know them. Relationships do take work, no matter what kind of relationship you have, be it with a friend, boyfriend, husband or whatever the case may be. Spend some time with them really getting to know them, and you will start to feel blessed in many ways.

Prayer: Dear Lord, help me to realize that getting to know you is very important to me in my life. Lord, help me to have healthy relationships. Relationships that last and that are full of love. Help me to understand what love is, how to get it and how to keep it. Give me the insight into what makes a relationship work and what I can do to make things work out better for those around me that may need a shoulder to cry on because their relationship may not be working. And if I do encounter somebody that needs help in that department, give me the strength and the guidance I need to tell them all the right things so they can know that what I said is good. Lord, sometimes I may not give others the best advice. Sometimes it comes out wrong. I get frustrated because I end up saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Help me to go beyond that and help me to help others to understand the love that you give out so freely to those who ask you for it. I thank you, Lord, for all your many blessings. Amen.

Benediction: Now, Lord, Bless us in our daily lives. Help us to smell the roses whenever possible, to shine our light on those less fortunate than us, and lead us in the path we should go. For you are the light that keeps our path well lit. Help us to follow it, until we meet you, in a land where milk and honey abound, a place where our most wonderful dreams are fulfilled. Amen.

Hi, my name is Bryan, a messenger of hope who would love to hear from you. God Bless.

© 2004 Bryan Hill